Tuesday 5 February 2013

Baby... whatever it is. Ah! 72. Stark raving mad.

“Banner! Come to mommy sweety.” I say to my youngest child, who immediately gets up and tries to walk to me, falling down half way there.  I giggle, and my daughter joins in, a light, melodious sound. I grab my phone to capture a picture of the moment, saying, “This is going on the internet.”
Haven is sat somewhere behind me with her boyfriend, near one of the lounge chairs by the pool, and they’re under the watchful eyes of Carmen, who’s currently hidden somewhere. She and Haven have this on-going game that Carmen can’t spy on them anywhere without being found, I have it on good knowledge that this is true so far. The exception is now; none of us have any idea where Carmen is.
Or at least, nobody but me. Around ten minutes ago, I noticed her on the roof of the house, looking out from the lookout post. Haven shouts, “Okay. You win!” to her sister, who comes sliding down the rooftop to land deftly at the feet of her younger sibling. The look of surprise on her face is priceless, and one I will certainly want to remember.
I check my watch, I can tell Bruce is getting hungry, and he’s always mad when he’s hungry. It’s almost comical to watch. The hands point to noon, so I scoop up my youngest daughter, and shout to the kids on the other side of the pool. “Kids, time for lunch.” Haven stands up quickly, extending her hand to Apple, who takes it. Carmen rushes off around the corner of the house to get her sister and Victoria.
I look around the fridge and pull out a few ingredients. Apple is stood looking kind of awkward behind me, so I turn to look at him. “Would you like to stay for dinner, Apple?” I ask, and he shrugs.
“I dunno Ms Everard. I might be in the way, and I know Paisley’s coming over later, I wouldn't want to be under foot.” He says, a perfect gentleman as ever.
“It’s not trouble. Besides from the look on her face, Haven wants you to stick around. And I’m making the famous Everard family strudel for dessert.”
That’s all it takes to swing him around to staying and having lunch with us. It also gets me a few extra pairs of hands to help out, as he insists on assisting me, which turns into the entire family helping. Evita and Victoria chop vegetables while Carmen is in charge of berries for the aforementioned strudel and I make the bulk of the meal. Banner and Bruce, however, I put down in the lounge, where they amuse themselves playing with their toys.
We cook lunch, eat it, and then Apple decides it’s time to leave. Fifteen minutes later, I text Paisley to tell her to come over. It’s family movie night tonight, and it’s her kids’ turn to pick, but unfortunately they can’t come today (‘Various sleepovers and social events be damned! This is movie night.’ is apparently not a suitable reason for locking the kids in the basement all day so they can’t leave.)
I sit down on the couch and wait for Paisley to arrive. Most of that time is spent trying to think of a cute nickname for her, since I heard that’s a couple thing. I’m not successful, and she lets herself in and sits down on the couch next to me before I notice she’s there. And even then she has to prod me in the face. I shout for the kids, and everyone comes running. Movie night is one of their favourite things, and everyone loves Paisley too. So as you can imagine everyone is very excited. Paisley tosses me a DVD, and I check the title. It’s UP. I see that she finally bought a copy. I have lent her all my Pixar DVD’s over the years, but up is my favourite. So just remember, you ever need a DVD call me, but, I’m never gonna give you UP.

I sit watching the film for about fifteen minutes before a text comes through from an unknown number, it reads. 20 mins. Meet me at the library.-TS. 
I frown at my phone for a minute, before Paisley leans over. "Sounds like your next baby daddy. And judging by the initials, we have a certain genius billionaire who wants your children."  

I gape at my girlfriend before scrambling off the couch to grab my jacket. There's no way I'm missing this. "Don't forget to get Electra an autograph and I want a picture." she yells after me, and I nod hurriedly, as I run out of the door. 
The drive to the library is actually quite relaxed. The library isn't far away and I have enough time to slow down and enjoy the scenery a little, something I don't have chance to do very often. It's also partially to mentally prepare myself for meeting one of the most famous people in the universe. 
Unfortunately, it's all for nothing because when I get there, and I see Tony Stark in the flesh, leaning against one of the pillars outside the library I am rendered star-struck. Here I am, about to have someone who I never dreamed about meeting's children. It's a crazy world. 
He stands up almost immediately after noticing me stood there. "Hello there." he says. "I assume you know who I am, and am I correct in assuming you are the fine female specimen known as Skye Everard?" I nod mutely, before finally managing to shake myself out of the stupor I trapped myself in.  "So, how do you wanna do this?" he asks. 


I hadn't thought about that.

"Well... uh. I don't have a preference really." I don't have a preference? What a stupid thing to say. "The thing is, I'd really like to say I slept with you, even if nobody would believe me, and also there's Paisley to think about because I don't think she'd be very happy, but she also knows how much I want to sleep with you so I can say that so maybe she wouldn't mind."  I'm an incoherent, babbling mess.
"Well that sounds like a great idea. I love it when people ask to sleep with me. On the way down I saw a cute little festival thingy. Wanna go check it out?" asks Tony, and I nod. We walk to our cars and drive the short distance down the road to this festival. 
Once we get there we walk down to the bar and continue our conversations about nonsensical things . When the bartender offers us a drink, we accept, and he serves us both a cocktail with a very... unusual colour. 
They must be very strong because  it's barely a minute before I'm feeling a buzz, and  by the bottom of the glass I can barely stand. But I'm determined to make this date cool, so we wobble our ways down to the roller rink and slip on a pair of rental skates. Of course, Tony's balance is much worse than mine for some reason, so he falls down twice as much. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea. 
We skate around for a while, until he gains some balance and we decide to try a spin. He takes my hands and we slowly begin to turn. 
Unfortunately for me his balance isn't quite as good as he thought, and he falls, me on top of him. We both come up laughing our butts off, and he presses a sloppy kiss to my cheek before we stand up again. Or, I stand up. He... sort of crawls to the edge and hauls himself vertical. "That was great! We need to do that again." 
Full of the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you're drunk, I whisper in his ear and he nods enthusiastically. We take a taxi to the movie theatre and get tickets to see Monsters Inc. Of course, it's two AM by now, and nobody is in the theatre, so we get right on with the baby making in the theatre. 
I'm not entirely sure how we get home that night, but when I do come round in my bedroom, there's a glass of water and an aspirin by my lamp. I don't need them, last night was nothing compared to usual, but I thank Paisley anyway. She'd stayed to babysit since hers were out, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't expecting to have to babysit me as well. 
I'll probably apologize to her later. 
I sit up slowly, just in case I am hungover, and I am struck with a wave of nausea. This is not hangover nausea however, and proves that I am in fact pregnant. I rush to the bathroom and puke my guts out. 
As I return to my room I notice that Stark has left a picture of him, signed, pinned to the wall next to a post-it with his number on it. Below is a note, saying why he had to go, and that he'll be back for the kid's birthday
The baby kicks inside my growing stomach, and I decide to check on Bruce and Banner. To my surprise, they're curled up asleep in their cribs for now, and it seems a shame to wake them. But as I start to leave the room, Banner wakes up, and I realise I can smell the kids from over here. I scoop her up and place her in the baby bath, before doing the same with her brother. 
Checking the clock on the wall, it is to my surprise still very early in the morning. (I'm talking 6AM) This means that I get to take Victoria and Evita to soccer practice  They're the first ones there so they have a kick about before the rest of the team arrive. The other parents had organized a bake-sale for later, so I was going to help out at that with everyone else. 

That was the plan anyway. 
I quickly get distracted while working on a sculpture, and we miss the bake-sale completely. By the time I realise we have missed it, the time comes for my next little babies to arrive. 
Baby 72- Stark Anthony Everard 
Baby 73- Edward Anthony Everard
As I cradle my newborn children in my arms, Evita comes running into the room, panting for breath.
 "Skye. Come quick. Something's wrong with Isis."